CrushCrushingCrushed
by Anti-Banana19
Summary: A sonfic for Paramore's CrushCrushCrush. An entry for the songfic challenge on 'The Prompts' forum. ONESHOT- Percy J & OC


**Hi! Just a little one-shot songfic challenge I'm taking part in on 'The Prompts' forum. The song is Paramore's CrushCrushCrush (Wanna listen? .com/music/Paramore?l=0) . Sorry, this is a bit anti-Percabeth, but I hope you like my OC!**

**Disclaimer- Nope trust me, not mine. **

**Enjoy!**

_"I got a lot to say to you  
>Yeah, I got a lot to say..."<em>

Granted, I was quiet. Yet a little known fact is that being quiet, doesn't necessarily mean, that you don't have anything to say.

Trust me on this one, I have a lot to say.

Not just to anyone. I keep words tucked inside me for when I need them. I choose who I want to hear these words, and then release them. Usually the effect isn't desirable.

Because when you over think something, it doesn't always give the expected result.

Every word I spoke to Percy Jackson that day, had stewed in my mind for an almost hour.

We stood there by that tree for 30 whole minutes in stony silence. I, as I said, was savouring words.

What he was thinking was never clear. He seemed too absorbed in his work to notice me. He sat by the tree sharpening his sword, flawless.

His hair was its usual jet black, with that hint of sunlight through the trees outlining its brownish hue. He tossed it out of his face to reveal sea-green eyes which, studied the knife with a laughing surprise.

"Screw Medusa, nothing can beat Riptide here." he grinned wiping the blade with a small faded cloth.

Whether he was addressing me or not wasn't apparent but, it seemed he was more likely to be addressing the sword.

Now I think of it, did it really matter? Either way, I would have said nothing. Nothing as always.

_"I noticed your eyes are always glued to me."_

Bonfires. I could watch them all night. Turning black dull scenes into rebellious, fiery images. Causing things to appear wilder, more threatening.

The bonfires at Camp Half Blood I suspected, were not meant to be looked at like that. They were places to keep warm and toast marshmallows, while chatting and mucking about with friends.

Did I mention I'm quiet?

I looked at the scuffed converse on my feet and sighed. I knew I didn't want to be part of the crowd, but why did that have to mean always sitting alone in silence? Couldn't I have friends? Couldn't I have a life?

I could see Annabeth Chase at the other side of the fire. She sat amongst her half-siblings, all whispering to each other in delight and sneaking glances at Percy who sat between Luke Castellan and Connor Stoll. He gave them a quick glance and Annabeth's peers collapsed in a fit of giggles while Annabeth rolled her eyes at their immaturity and tossed her long blonde California girl hair and batted her grey eyes at Percy.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. She gave him a quick glance, but that's it.

One couldn't help feeling resentful of Annabeth. She had everything I wanted. A pretty face, friends and the attention of Percy Jackson.

Yet perhaps, not always.

His eyes flickered to me, highlighted with a strange interest. They studied my pale face and traced the fringe of my post-box red hair. Then his eyes met my blue ones and shy, I turned away unable to meet his gaze.

Yet through peripheral vision I saw that he hadn't turned away. Not yet. He was still staring, dazed in my direction, as if he was seeing for the first time. As if somehow the shell around me had broken down and he could see my soul within.

_"Keeping them here  
>And it makes no sense at all"<em>

Or possibly, he was daydreaming. A transference of feelings for Annabeth, maybe. He couldn't be staring at me, me the invisible Jasmine who no one ever saw.

Perhaps it was the sudden realisation of how different I was. The scarlet hair was bound to attract attention, as the cronies in the Aphrodite cabin had said so often, I looked like I'd had an accident with ketchup and a pair of left handed scissors.

Maybe because I was alone, it was a sudden surge of pity. Which quite frankly I didn't need. Though I wished often for otherwise, being alone was mostly a choice.

But he wasn't staring at my cropped traffic-light hair or the fact that I sat alone in contemplation, he was staring at _me._

It made no sense! Why would Percy Jackson, the most popular guy at camp, ever even think twice about me, plain silent Jasmine who was only of notice to the stupid bitches who bullied her and made her life a misery.

Maybe it's better to forget about it. If it were true, it could never happen. He was practically betrothed to Annabeth anyway and it didn't matter how long I'd crushed on him or how long that stare had lasted. It was never going to happen.

_"They taped over your mouth  
>Scribbled out the truth with their lies<br>You little spies"_

The next days and weeks came in just as a confusing manner as its predecessors. All through breakfast, lunch, dinner and every training session we had together, Percy Jackson shot glances at me, trying to catch my eye.

Now, I wasn't the only one who noticed. Annabeth's gang was looking uneasy and the Aphrodite crowd looked livid. Girls like me weren't supposed to get attention from Percy Jacksons, it just didn't happen.

Yet no matter how many times an Aphrodite girl trailed past his seat, his eyes didn't linger from me. I caught his eye and he winked, which seemed to cause even more controversy.

Anyone could see I was the new object of his attention and it made the camp at large uneasy, very uneasy.

I spotted Travis Stoll giving me a wary look and then he gestured at Percy and the two went off together, Travis whispering something to him. They kept glancing at me and somehow I knew Travis was trying to convince him that I was bad news. I may have been paranoid but for some reason I seemed to be really sure on this one.

Anyway, even though I was aware of the objections, even though I knew that there was no way in hell this could ever happen...

Why was I such a bad thing? Why wasn't I ever allowed be happy? Did the world hate me so much that even when I liked a guy who liked me back, we couldn't be together? Was it just that no matter what I did, I just was never going to get what I wanted. Even when what I wanted, wanted me back...

...

_"Crush..."_

We brushed shoulders briefly as we walked out of the dining pavilion. He turned and shot his famous grin in my direction.

"Hi, Jasmine isn't it?" he said looking me up and down.

I smiled shyly back, my heart beating like a jack-hammer. He grinned back and my heart melted.

_"Crush..."_

"So," he began, "you off to the lake? It's a great day for swimming!"

I was trembling like crazy, but somehow his goofy smile inspired confidence in me.

"I guess..." I acknowledged quietly.

His face crept into a grin and his eyes lit up.

"Well, see ya around Jasmine?" he said and it was more of a question than a statement.

_"Crush..."_

My eyes traced his expression and I could see the sparks of admiration in his eyes. His sweet goofy determination... even though Travis had advised him against it, even though the whole Camp frowned apon it and even though Annabeth Chase, the prettiest girl at Camp, had a crush on him, he was willing to go down to the lake with plain old Jasmine Brooks...

Maybe I wasn't invisible...

Not anymore...

"Maybe." I whispered as he walked off. "Just maybe."

"_Crush, crush."_

_..._

_"Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone  
>Just the one, two I was just counting on..."<em>

Maybe turns out to be a lot more probable than I counted on.

I sat by the lake under a tree, reading in the shade. It was warm and the sun peeked through the trees. I looked out across the lake but I saw nothing but the glint of the sun off the lake.

I sighed. Nothing like a quiet afternoon...

Alone, as always.

I pushed the thought from my mind and turned the page of my book.

The words seemed to blur in front of me, and my thoughts seemed to drown all resistance.

But when you're at war with yourself, you can't let yourself win.

It was better this way.

I heard footsteps from the shrubbery. I turned around startled. It was who I'd been waiting for.

_"That never happens..."_

I'm always alone. And somehow the difference of being with someone was rather startling.

"Hey Jasmine." Percy said drying his hair with a towel. "Fancy seeing you here."

I blushed and he approached me.

We sat in silence for a while before he announced, "Nice hair."

My hand pushed a lock of my scarlet hair behind my ear defensively. I'd dyed it during a momentary lapse of thought, but somehow, the crazy hair had always been apart of my separation from the world, my abnormality.

"You know, making fun of someone's appearance is never a good way to start an acquaintance." I pointed out, surprised that my voice was so composed. Words flowed more easily when they weren't prepared.

He seemed surprised, probably because it was the first time I'd ever spoken to him.

"Trust me." he reassured. "I meant no offence. I really do like your hair. It's different... you're different."

"Don't I know it." I said releasing the lock from behind my ear.

"Hey, that's not a bad thing." I said. "Maybe we all need a bit of different in our lives. Something outside the box, off the track. Maybe, we should all accept the unaccepted."

He looked straight into my eyes and I couldn't misinterpret his meaning. I blared right out at me, along with the varying blue in his eyes.

"Percy..." I whispered. "I like you, but..."

"Shh... don't but Jasmine." he whispered, coming closer to me. "There doesn't have to be a but. You're small, clever and beautiful and I like you. Why does there have to be a but? Why does it matter what everyone else thinks?"

Then he leant in and I parted my lips slightly, yielding to the soft strength of his kiss. It engulfed me, gaining in strength until I found myself wrapped up in him, body, heart and soul.

I knew then what lay behind that quirky smile.

"That's new." I smiled once we broke apart.

"Good new or bad new?" he asked, his arm still around me.

"Good." I said. "Always good."

_"I guess I'm dreaming again..."_

We sat there in each others arms for what seemed barely a second before realisation hit me.

"We can't..." I said breaking away from him. "We can't Percy, you know we can't. Your friends and Annabeth... The whole thing is too objectionable!"

"What, Annabeth? Listen, Annabeth is just my friend... you are so much more to me." he said softly.

My heart melted and it was all I could do not to let him kiss me again. But I knew that reality was never going to let us be happy, not really.

"Listen Percy, you know as well as I do what havoc this could cause. What people will say... We run with different crowds Percy. I'm the quiet loser with no friends, you're _Percy Jackson_. Even if we ignored what people said... do you think they'd ever let us love each other? Do you think they'd ever just accept it and let us be happy?"

He paused and his grip on my hand loosened. The realisation of it all was tough. Why did it have to be tough? Why wasn't it all a dream where we could be together... always...

But a dream was what I'd lived in for so long. And the truth of it all was reality was so much more real.

_"Let's be more than this."_

"Then let it be our secret." he suggested. "Just between us and no one in the whole world has to know."

On a strange level, I liked the idea. True, I did want more than just a rendezvous by the lake, but anything to be with Percy, without the weight of the world on top of us, was all I needed.

"Sure." I murmured into his ear. "Our secret, just for now."

His eyes lit up again and slowly he released me from his arms.

"See you around, Jazzy?" he said shortening my ridiculous flowery name to a quaint endearing little nickname.

"Maybe." I answered, already knowing that maybe was a lot more probable than the rest of the world gave it credit for.

_"If you want to play it like a game  
>Well, come on, come on, let's play..."<em>

After that every interaction between us in public became an act. It was all a game, one in which we blinded everyone of our fellow Campers into believing what they wanted to believe. That Percy and I were two different people, that ran with different social groups and that never talked beyond the boundaries of social norm.

But we both knew otherwise.

Every evening, I'd meet him by the lake and we'd talk hours into the night. He'd tell me I was the most beautiful girl at camp and kiss me under the stars and I'd smile and blush and tell him he was the only guy in the whole world for me.

My longing for each evening pushed me through everyday, though really, throughout every hour of daylight, I was dying inside.

_"Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending  
>Than have to forget you for one whole minute."<em>

But I put up with it. I Put up with every second, every minute, every hour of the ignorance throughout the day just to be able to be with him.

Because I'd rather play the game, even when I was losing, just to know that I'd always have the chance of winning someday.

Because it was 12 hours of ignorance or forever...

Which meant I didn't have a choice.

_"Rock and roll, baby  
>Don't you know that we're all alone now?<br>I need something to sing about, Rock and roll, hey  
>Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?<br>I need something to sing about  
>Rock and roll, hey<br>Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now?  
>Give me something to sing about"<em>

Then there was that faithful evening which decided it all.

It was a Friday night, warm and starry with a full moon. I sneaked out under cover of darkness as always to meet Percy.

I sighed as I trudged through the woods. We'd been doing this for over a month now and the whole process was seriously tiring me out. I'd played the game, we'd played the game, but who was really the winner was unapparent.

Through the day he had his friends and admirers around him, in the evening he had me I had no one through the day and it all was spent in longing for him.

I knew it was our only choice but was it the wrong choice?

I arrived at the clearing by the lake where he was waiting for me. He wore a white shirt with the top buttons undone and his black jeans, ripped and frayed at the hem. His hair fell in his face and he tossed it out revealing those teal blue eyes I was so partial to. Somehow everything that had crossed my mind earlier seemed to vanish with his appearance.

"Wow." he greeted, looking stunned. "You look amazing..."

I tugged self consciously at the hem of my red tartan skirt. I had known it was too short but Percy didn't seem to mind. I had worn black fish-nets underneath because it was warm evening and I wore black top with sleeves reaching to my elbows. On my feet were my favourite red converse. It all felt a bit matchy-matchy to me but Percy didn't give it a second thought.

"You too." I said truthfully though something still nagged at the back of my mind.

He smiled and reached for my hand. I flinched slightly. I knew I couldn't let this go on, but I didn't want it to end. I just needed one thing to convince me to stay, to keep going and push these thoughts further into my mind.

"I don't even begin to compare to you." he objected, pulling me closer. I could hear his heart beating thought his shirt and with every beat I could hear my mind screaming 'this can't go on!'

I knew it couldn't but I so wanted it to.

"Percy..." I began but was interrupted by him planting kisses up my neck. I breathed in the smell of aftershave and every thought vanished. His lips then moved slowly towards mine and the hands that had just before been carefully intertwined with mine were suddenly at my face, brushing my cheeks and holding them in place as he pressed kiss after kiss against my mouth. I kissed back, my fingers threading through the back of his hair, skimming through the thick tufts with an inner sigh. I knew this was wrong, so wrong, but how could something so wrong feel so right?

I pulled away. "No, Percy... we need to talk."

He looked startled. "Why, what's wrong Jazz?"

"We need..." I paused. "We need to make a choice. I can't keep sneaking away every evening just to see you and then be blanked during the day! And we both know one way or another this is never going to work... So why press on? This is too hard Percy. I can't do it anymore."

He started at me astounded. "No! I mean... no Jasmine. I know this is hard but I don't want to let go... We can do this... Some how I'll make it work... Anything, I just... I just don't want to lose you."

His words surprised me. I had thought through it all that I was the only one who cared. That this for him, was all a game. That seeing the quiet unpopular girl secretly was only a wild interesting pursuit for him. I hadn't even paused to think, to think that he really cared for me.

"I love you." he said and no three words have ever had such a magic meaning before.

"And I love you." I murmured. "But you have to make a choice. It's me or them."

"Then it's you." he whispered. "It's always been you."

...

And today thinking back I think, it was hard. But then, I never expected it to be easy. Loving a popular boy had trouble attached, I knew it and Percy knew it too.

But then, that kind of love is never easy, I guess that's why it's called a crush.

...

**Whatcha think? This is for a contest but you can drop a review all the same!**


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